The Regret We Don’t Talk About: When Success Costs Too Much
You can win at work and still lose at life.
That truth inspired me to write this reflection after reading Bronnie Ware’s Top Five Regrets of the Dying. Among her findings, one regret continues to echo across generations:
“I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.”
It’s something many of us understand deeply, even if we rarely say it out loud.
We work tirelessly to achieve our goals, fueled by ambition, fear, or love. Fear of losing it all. Fear of falling behind. Or the desire to honor the sacrifices that made our success possible.
For many of us, our work ethic is sacred. It’s how we prove our worth, repay our parents’ sacrifices, and honor those who came before us. But somewhere along the way, that drive turns into what I call The Sacrificial Guilt Effect, the belief that resting means letting someone down.
Overworking isn’t just about ambition. For many, it’s become identity. It’s a way to prove that we’re doing enough, giving enough, being enough. Yet the harder we push, the more disconnected we often become from what we’re actually working for.
The irony is this: we work so hard to create a better life for the people we love, yet in doing so, we often lose the very moments that make life meaningful.
Money can buy comfort and opportunity, but it can’t replace presence. It can’t substitute for the laughter shared over dinner, the unplanned weekend, or the quiet moments where connection deepens.
When your work begins to cost you your health or your closest relationships, it’s no longer a symbol of success. It’s a signal that you’ve drifted too far from what truly matters.
Finding balance isn’t about losing ambition. It’s about anchoring it. It’s remembering that success should enhance your life, not consume it.
The truth is, your purpose and your peace are not at odds with each other. You can build what you love without burning out. You can rest without falling behind.
And you can achieve deeply while still being present for the people who make it all worth it.
Because one day, when all the noise quiets, you won’t be counting how many hours you worked. You’ll be remembering who you became and who you loved along the way.
Reflection Question
What would it look like this week to intentionally create space for the people and moments that matter most, without guilt, without rushing, and without waiting for later?
Action Step
Schedule one intentional pause this week. Have dinner with family, take a walk without your phone, or spend time with someone you miss. Then notice how success feels when it includes presence.
Want to Go Deeper?
If you’re ready to pause, reflect, and start rewriting your definition of success on your own terms:
Download a free chapter of my book, Success Starts Within, and learn how to reclaim your energy and create success that actually feels good: Click here to download
P.S. Ready to explore how I can help your team reduce burnout? Click here to learn more
Chazz Scott | Resilience & Sustainable Performance Expert | Founder, Supra Mentem Consulting | Author of Success Starts Within
Creator of the Rise & Reclaim Blueprint™ – Helping professionals and teams break free from burnout, boost retention, and build success that actually feels good.
