Why We Put Off Joy (And How to Stop)
Saying “yes” to a random salsa class at the Lincoln Memorial, joy doesn’t need a perfect occasion.
When most of us think of procrastination, we imagine delaying chores, bills, or tough projects. But what if I told you we also procrastinate joy?
That’s the finding of new research published in PNAS Nexus and highlighted by Richard Sima in The Washington Post. The study shows that the longer we delay enjoyable experiences, the more likely we are to keep putting them off.
Think about it:
You put off calling a close friend because you want “the perfect time.”
You save that nice bottle of wine for a “real” celebration.
You wait to book the trip until “things calm down.”
We tell ourselves the moment will feel more special later. But in reality, joy delayed is often joy denied.
The Psychology of Waiting on Joy
Ed O’Brien, a professor at the University of Chicago Booth School of Business and lead author of the study, calls this a psychological trap.
“Right now always feels insufficiently special compared to any better moment in the future,” he explained.
It’s a mindset shaped by something psychologists call occasion matching, the belief that certain joys need the right occasion to be worth it. But in chasing the “perfect” moment, we often miss out on the happiness available today.
And it matters: study participants who delayed fun reported lower happiness in the moment, even when they eventually did the thing they were putting off.
My Story: Saying Yes to Salsa
This research hit home for me.
Not long ago, I came across a random salsa class on Instagram. It was happening right in front of the Lincoln Memorial. I didn’t know anyone there. I almost talked myself out of it. I was busy, it felt random, and honestly, I was nervous to show up alone.
But I went.
And here’s what happened: I ended up laughing, sweating more than I planned, and walking away with a new burst of energy. That joy carried into my entire week. I was more patient, more present, and more energized for the people in my life.
It reminded me: joy doesn’t need a perfect occasion. It just needs a yes.
How to Stop Procrastinating Joy
If you’ve been saving joy for “someday,” here are a few ways to shift:
Notice the trap. The longer you delay, the harder it feels to begin again. Awareness breaks the cycle.
Lower the friction. Make fun easy, set reminders, block time, or put your running shoes by the door.
Schedule joy. Treat it like a meeting with yourself. Sundays, I now schedule small joys, from riding scooters around D.C. to that salsa class.
Redefine “special.” Any moment can become meaningful if you decide to treat it that way.
A Gentle Reminder
Ambition doesn’t have to mean postponing happiness until everything else is perfect. In fact, fueling yourself with joy makes you more resilient, present, and effective in all areas of life.
So here’s your reminder: don’t wait for joy. Say yes now.
If this resonated, you’ll love my Rise & Reclaim Blueprint™ — my 90-day coaching program for ambitious professionals who want to break free from burnout, reclaim their energy, and create success that feels as good as it looks.
Want to Go Deeper?
If you’re ready to pause, reflect, and start rewriting your definition of success on your own terms:
Download a free chapter of my book, Success Starts Within, and learn how to reclaim your energy and create success that actually feels good: Click here to download
P.S. Ready to explore how I can help your team reduce burnout? Click here to learn more
Chazz Scott | Resilience & Sustainable Performance Expert | Founder, Supra Mentem Consulting | Author of Success Starts Within
Creator of the Rise & Reclaim Blueprint™ – Helping professionals and teams break free from burnout, boost retention, and build success that actually feels good.
